[Kyojuro is at the edge of the woods when Kaname bursts through, his gravely warble immediately drawing the slayer from his thoughts. The way he moves is instinctive, falling into a sprint behind the crow as he circles back around and dives through the trees. His hands fall to his side, ready to unleash his blade the moment a threat appears.
But nothing comes.
Instead, he finds her, bleeding from the mouth, tears in her eyes. Through Muichiro, he knows that she met her end, but does cannot fathom the details. Seeing this display, the one thing he does know is that whatever came of Upper Two, perhaps it was not enough.
But his wrath can wait. His hands move from the blade to settle on her shoulders, holding her steady.]
Shinobu - [Formality is dropped for the sake of desperation. He kneels down, eyes sweeping across her form as he tries to understand how best to treat her injuries in the moment.] I am here. You are safe.
[He hopes those words reach her. He knows, by now, how alarming it must be to see a ghost like him. Not that they aren't all ghosts at this point.]
[Despite the subject, those words remain sweet enough to bring a faint, brief smile to Kyojuro's lips. It's dashed swiftly at how easily her tone wavers. Even here and alive, she's still in danger. And though he knows enough field medicine to keep someone alive, it will only be for brief periods.
For now, he tries to put her mind at ease, even as he tries to figure out a course of action.]
This is not hell. And I will not be the last thing you see. Things here are incredibly complicated, but we are alive. You and I both. And I intend to keep it that way.
[As he speaks, his fingers move. They glide down her arms, searching for any breaks or tension. If she's on her feet, she should have enough strength to hold herself up if he carries her on his back, right?
He twists around and motions for her to climb up.]
There is a clinic not far from here. The healers were able to do a great deal for me when I was recovering. They will put you right. And as they do, I can explain all you need to know.
( her gaze follows his hands. so diligent! as he turns around, she slowly sheathes her blade and does as wordlessly requested, resting against him with a soft yet heavy sigh of relief. )
It's largely my torso and lungs that have been wounded. I've lost a lot of blood, which is why it's hard for me to stand...
( but if it isn't hell... and if he knows she had died (how did he know? ... other than the obvious wounds.) then- oh, her head hurts. but she can still receive and retain information.
there's a clinic, which means either a fortress or a community. whatever this second chance is, she must be ready- she must heal and get stronger, so this pathetic display cannot ever happen again. )
[Shinobu has always been small and light, but never has she come across as fragile. Not until today, as he reaches his arms back around to secure her legs. It feels like he carries a child on his back, and that makes his chest ache. None of their rank should ever be brought this low.]
Then allow me to do the bulk of the work, my friend.
[He stands, careful to make sure that she's steady and stable, before marching off.]
You are in a place called Aldric's Grove. Contrary to what the both of us believed upon waking up, we are not dead, and this is not the afterlife. I know this, as my brother and young Shinazugawa are also here and perfectly fine. [And surely both of them are fine! ... Right?] Tokito has also arrived - [Weird that he's not included among the living...] - along with one other.
[Not this again...]
That said, we are not outside of danger. There is an entity within the Forest that seeks to torment us. I have seen his trickery first hand several times now. Thankfully, its malevolence seems to have come to a pause, with the colder months. [He is diligent in his report as he marches, reciting it just as he might have to the Master. Only now does he hesitate:] We... were called here for a reason. And in time, I will gladly explain it. But perhaps the basics will suffice until you are in better shape!
( she cuts herself off from asking something insensitive- neither of them need it, and it would be cruel. her own cynicism can take a backseat, just this once, and let herself have some form of hope, even if its just... that they can be okay here. even if it's quickly dashed by the forest's machinations. )
... Tokito is like us then, is he? ... He was so young...
( it's not fair. its not fair! why did the demons have to... he should have gotten to put his sword down and live a jovial life with his paper airplanes. her grip on his haori tightens with rage as she inhales sharply. )
What sort if entity? It must be powerful if you haven't managed to stop it yet. What does it do?
[Oblivious to the war within Shinobu's own mind, Kyojuro continues onward. His pace picks up, well aware of her flagging voice. Some dark part of his mind worries that he might fail her if he isn't fast enough. Perhaps this, too, is a trick of the Forest. A reminder that he, too, can fail.]
I am afraid so.
[He will not mince words. He will not try to sugar coat it. Muichiro fell in battle, just as they both had.]
I am led to understand that it is a god, of sorts. One that is vengeful, and has it out for us in particular. It is why we are here.
[And perhaps why they had been cast into such terrible lives to begin with. But again, that is something he will hesitate on.]
There is something you should know, Shinobu. I would not normally trouble you in this state, but... [Perhaps it's easier, not being able to look her in the eye.] Upper Three is here as well.
A God... First demons, now this. What a cosmic joke our lives are.
( that's a note of bitterness she hasn't let show in a very long time, if ever- even if she was temperamental and snappish before kanae's death, she was still doing her best to bring the people around her joy, after all.
and yet, she can't feel afraid. not after feeling how doma brought her into his body. not after those sounds, his words. somehow, nothing can feel worse than that in her current state of mind.
[It isn't like him to be a pessimist, but really... Escaping death and finding himself faced with another battle certainly hadn't been expected. Not when his mother had been so ready to embrace him in death. Admittedly, he'd been a little bitter about it all.
But it hadn't lasted. There were good things about this existence, he had found. Hopefully Shinobu would find those same silver linings.
... Or at least find a semblance of peace, especially with the news he is in the process of delivering.]
It is a lot to explain. But he and I have entered something of... a truce. [A truce involving tongues down throats.] For the sake of focusing on protecting those here. I will say the same thing to you as I did Tokito — I do not expect you to trust him, but I will ask that you trust me.
[The trees begin to thin, and he steps into the Grove proper. It's only a short jog to the clinic. He's grateful that he is in far better health these days. He cannot imagine having made the trek so swiftly otherwise.]
( shinobu is quiet for a moment. she remembers hearing word of his death, and how every hashira had mourned. how lord ubuyashiki had grieved. how every demon slayer who'd met him had hurt.
how she'd hurt.
she's selfish. she's sick of losing and losing more, and the heartache that hasn't left her weary soul since she was a child, and he asks her to let his murderer go?
it's a good thing he can't see that vicious stare like this. )
[Even if he cannot see her, he can guess at her reaction. It's undoubtedly the same as Muichiro's, would be the same as any other Hashira or slayer who had been informed of his death. He cannot condemn them for their anger or condemnation, either. If the roles were reversed, he surely would have felt the same, too.
But they were not there, in that moment. They did not see the resignation in Akaza's eyes, did not watch as he simply brushed aside condemnation in favor of one single target.]
He arrived not long after I. Different. Deceased, just as the rest of us. And though my blade was broken and replaced with little more than a fragile, ornamental piece, I was determined to take his head.
He cared little for my efforts. His only focus was the sun. He was ready to die again. [He will recall that moment for the rest of his life, he thinks.] I watched him flee the sun once, watched his battle frenzy fade away into nothing more than fear.
In that moment, he was not that man. In the time I have known him since, he has never been that man. He told me that as Tanjiro struck him down, he came to both remember and regret everything. And I have seen plenty of evidence to support that.
[There is more, of course, but he doubts Shinobu is ready for a conversation on past lives, or the influence they'd had on the people they'd become. Even this, he feels, is too much for her. But he knows her, and she would not be able to rest with a halfhearted explanation.]
I am aware that it does not make up for what he has done. He will be the first to tell you that. But as far as I am concerned, I have forgiven him for the role he had in my own death, as is my right. We, as slayers, are executioners, and he has been executed for that act. Anything beyond that, for me, would be torture.
[He does not know the nerve his words might strike. It is the furthest thing from his mind. This is simply his outlook.]
( she listens and her heart twists, something vicious and vile churning within. her grip tightens again, hands shaking against his back. it's not enough.
it's not enough! he remembered? he feels remorse? what will that do for the people he's already slain!? even if kyojuro forgives him, will they? will she?
there's a sharp inhale. and then, she grits out- )
Perhaps you can forgive him. As you said, it is your right. But as one of the ones left behind, I refuse.
Atonement does not come with gentle hands, Rengoku.
( it never has. it never will. and she will not be gentle. )
[He may not see her face, but he can feel by the way she squirms, by the way those hands tighten against him, that the words are not well-received. It's fine, he supposes. He would not have accepted them either, and that was without having suffered as she had. Having lost family and students to demons, it was well within her rights to carry such volatility within.
Still, it isn't with the affection he feels for Akaza that he speaks, but for something else.]
I will ask you to not bring him unnecessary harm. He will not regenerate like he would back home. Considering what we are up against, we need his strength and capability. More to the point, I do not believe in making anything suffer endlessly. I have witnessed first hand what demons can do, when fueled by that level of agony.
[It is a good thing that he reaches the clinic as he does. Perhaps it will spare them both from an argument. He knows his words will be received as defense for a demon, rather than anything else. And for the sake of his father's honor, he almost hopes that will be the case.
Let her look down upon him, rather than the man that raised him.]
If that's all you see it as, you haven't understood anything about this philosophy of mine.
( it is brutal. it is excruciating. but so has every death at any demon's hand, and until they truly feel and understand what they have inflicted upon others, they cannot atone. this is something she believes to her core, even if she thinks sympathy for a demon is preposterous, even if she's only giving the idea of friendship with demons a chance for her sister's sake-
it is brutal. but in her eyes, it is fair.
... ah, has he simply thought of her as a monster, then?
the clinic is a relief. or, it would be if the tension in her body didn't force a horrid wet cough of blood into her hands- )
[It is such a difficult line that he walks with her. At his core, he cannot bring himself to agree with her standpoint, given all that he has experienced. Yet at the same time, he cannot fault her for it either. He is all too aware of the discrepancy between them: he a man who has only ever lost someone to the natural cycle of life; she, a woman who has watched demons rip everything she has ever cared for away.
And yes, he knows himself to be in that number too.
But he cannot focus on that right now. He hears that cough and doubles his pace. Though he knows everyone here to be capable, it will be by his hands that she is carried to a bed. He kneels down to deposit her properly, then swiftly turns to offer a hand to help her lay down.
He doesn't know if she will accept it. Maybe he does not deserve it. But despite this difference, he does still care.
Gods, he never thought he'd see her again. And now for her to be like this, angry and wounded, still dancing dangerously close to death. His hands shake as he reaches for something, anything to try and clear the blood away.
He shouldn't linger. The healers need room to work. But the idea of leaving things like this, hovering in a place of frustration and grief — that terrifies him. Especially if this moment is only fleeting, if she might just as easily disappear before the dawn.]
Please. Know that I do not ask what I do out of defiance of your own wishes, your own views.
( she can't let go of her hate and anger. she just can't. nezuko was a good child, a miracle of circumstance that cannot be repeated. akaza has killed hundreds if not thousands over centuries, one of whom the man she had been considering a future with.
how foolish of her.
the haze of everything blurs together. the familiar scent of medicines and antiseptics burns, but it soothes a part of her on some level; it feels like home. the bed he finds calls to her like a siren song.
she stares at the extended hand and it feels like a slap in the face, almost. and yet... all she's wanted on the hardest days was to hold that hand. and now... ... it may be the final positive contact they have, if he sides with his own killer so blatantly. after great hesitation, she accepts the help. )
... You ask too much of me.
( is all she can say- she can't even look at him. )
[Some part of him does wish that he could be free of the wretched sense of honor that holds him back. If he could just explain that it was not about the demon, or at least not that particular demon, perhaps she would loathe him less. But his jaw remains firmly clenched, the truth locked behind iron.
Silently, he dabs at some of the stray blood around her mouth. It is a terrible sight, to see her brought so low. Knowing that he had made it worse settles like lead within his gut. He should have handled this better, that much is clear.
Still, he hears those words and hangs his head. He does not deny it. That would only add to their troubles.]
You are right. I have. [Trying to change the subject would seem like trying to avoid responsibility. But still, there must be some sort of salve to be offered.]
Much as I might hate to see you in this place, in this state... I have missed you. That should have been the first thing I said.
( her voice is soft and painfully quiet. eyes dull with exhaustion finally meet his own, and she can't help but think, how dare you! as he still frets and tends to her while the healers bustle to start her care.
he'll have to go soon. it might be for the best. she's so tired and her heart aches. fear and fury from the battle still echo in her bloodstream and she can't dare to think of the past when he's saying things like accepting his murderer.
there's a soft hitch in her breath. )
... Why couldn't it have been that?
( she immediately regrets asking, though- shinobu turns away and draws in onto herself. )
... I must be getting delirious, I'm sorry. Silly me. You'd think I'd be more practiced with this sort of thing.
[Regret clangs heavily within his soul. Even as he works, his shoulders droop, and his head bows all the more. She is right to say it, all of it, but it still cuts at him all the same. It had been instinctive, just a few moments ago. Business. Duty. Debrief, just as they would have as Hashira.
But they weren't just that. And that has always been his greatest struggle — divorcing duty and honor from more delicate matters. The fact that he had even fallen in with a demon to begin with, given that issue, said a great deal.
Even if that's the worst possible thing right now.
He does not argue, when Shinobu turns away from him. He does not flinch declares it time for him to leave. He can tell that he's in the way, and this, too, is duty. Though it had only just landed him in this situation, he falls back on this nonetheless.]
Perhaps so. [He takes a step back, then looks to the healers at her side. He trusts them both implicitly, and so he will leave them to this. He has... other matters to deal with as well, doesn't he?
He takes a step back, then quickly turns and leaves the clinic. If he risks a glance back, he know he will hesitate. He has been given orders, though, and should not deviate.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
i.
[Kyojuro is at the edge of the woods when Kaname bursts through, his gravely warble immediately drawing the slayer from his thoughts. The way he moves is instinctive, falling into a sprint behind the crow as he circles back around and dives through the trees. His hands fall to his side, ready to unleash his blade the moment a threat appears.
But nothing comes.
Instead, he finds her, bleeding from the mouth, tears in her eyes. Through Muichiro, he knows that she met her end, but does cannot fathom the details. Seeing this display, the one thing he does know is that whatever came of Upper Two, perhaps it was not enough.
But his wrath can wait. His hands move from the blade to settle on her shoulders, holding her steady.]
Shinobu - [Formality is dropped for the sake of desperation. He kneels down, eyes sweeping across her form as he tries to understand how best to treat her injuries in the moment.] I am here. You are safe.
[He hopes those words reach her. He knows, by now, how alarming it must be to see a ghost like him. Not that they aren't all ghosts at this point.]
no subject
( her voice is shaky, wavering in volume as she tries to smile. oh, how she missed him. even if they couldn't connect...
...
if he's there- it's okay to be weak, right? to fall apart for a while? she'd like to. oh, but, she still doesn't know where they are...
shinobu inhales slowly, almost laughing. )
Upper Two did quite a number on me, right...? Bastard.
... I've missed you. If this is the final thing I see, I don't mind it so much...
no subject
For now, he tries to put her mind at ease, even as he tries to figure out a course of action.]
This is not hell. And I will not be the last thing you see. Things here are incredibly complicated, but we are alive. You and I both. And I intend to keep it that way.
[As he speaks, his fingers move. They glide down her arms, searching for any breaks or tension. If she's on her feet, she should have enough strength to hold herself up if he carries her on his back, right?
He twists around and motions for her to climb up.]
There is a clinic not far from here. The healers were able to do a great deal for me when I was recovering. They will put you right. And as they do, I can explain all you need to know.
no subject
It's largely my torso and lungs that have been wounded. I've lost a lot of blood, which is why it's hard for me to stand...
( but if it isn't hell... and if he knows she had died (how did he know? ... other than the obvious wounds.) then- oh, her head hurts. but she can still receive and retain information.
there's a clinic, which means either a fortress or a community. whatever this second chance is, she must be ready- she must heal and get stronger, so this pathetic display cannot ever happen again. )
... Yes, I'll listen. Tell me everything you can.
no subject
Then allow me to do the bulk of the work, my friend.
[He stands, careful to make sure that she's steady and stable, before marching off.]
You are in a place called Aldric's Grove. Contrary to what the both of us believed upon waking up, we are not dead, and this is not the afterlife. I know this, as my brother and young Shinazugawa are also here and perfectly fine. [And surely both of them are fine! ... Right?] Tokito has also arrived - [Weird that he's not included among the living...] - along with one other.
[Not this again...]
That said, we are not outside of danger. There is an entity within the Forest that seeks to torment us. I have seen his trickery first hand several times now. Thankfully, its malevolence seems to have come to a pause, with the colder months. [He is diligent in his report as he marches, reciting it just as he might have to the Master. Only now does he hesitate:] We... were called here for a reason. And in time, I will gladly explain it. But perhaps the basics will suffice until you are in better shape!
no subject
... Tokito is like us then, is he? ... He was so young...
( it's not fair. its not fair! why did the demons have to... he should have gotten to put his sword down and live a jovial life with his paper airplanes. her grip on his haori tightens with rage as she inhales sharply. )
What sort if entity? It must be powerful if you haven't managed to stop it yet. What does it do?
no subject
I am afraid so.
[He will not mince words. He will not try to sugar coat it. Muichiro fell in battle, just as they both had.]
I am led to understand that it is a god, of sorts. One that is vengeful, and has it out for us in particular. It is why we are here.
[And perhaps why they had been cast into such terrible lives to begin with. But again, that is something he will hesitate on.]
There is something you should know, Shinobu. I would not normally trouble you in this state, but... [Perhaps it's easier, not being able to look her in the eye.] Upper Three is here as well.
no subject
( that's a note of bitterness she hasn't let show in a very long time, if ever- even if she was temperamental and snappish before kanae's death, she was still doing her best to bring the people around her joy, after all.
and yet, she can't feel afraid. not after feeling how doma brought her into his body. not after those sounds, his words. somehow, nothing can feel worse than that in her current state of mind.
except that, fucking what- )
... Ah?
no subject
[It isn't like him to be a pessimist, but really... Escaping death and finding himself faced with another battle certainly hadn't been expected. Not when his mother had been so ready to embrace him in death. Admittedly, he'd been a little bitter about it all.
But it hadn't lasted. There were good things about this existence, he had found. Hopefully Shinobu would find those same silver linings.
... Or at least find a semblance of peace, especially with the news he is in the process of delivering.]
It is a lot to explain. But he and I have entered something of... a truce. [A truce involving tongues down throats.] For the sake of focusing on protecting those here. I will say the same thing to you as I did Tokito — I do not expect you to trust him, but I will ask that you trust me.
[The trees begin to thin, and he steps into the Grove proper. It's only a short jog to the clinic. He's grateful that he is in far better health these days. He cannot imagine having made the trek so swiftly otherwise.]
no subject
how she'd hurt.
she's selfish. she's sick of losing and losing more, and the heartache that hasn't left her weary soul since she was a child, and he asks her to let his murderer go?
it's a good thing he can't see that vicious stare like this. )
...
Explain properly.
cw: suicide mention
But they were not there, in that moment. They did not see the resignation in Akaza's eyes, did not watch as he simply brushed aside condemnation in favor of one single target.]
He arrived not long after I. Different. Deceased, just as the rest of us. And though my blade was broken and replaced with little more than a fragile, ornamental piece, I was determined to take his head.
He cared little for my efforts. His only focus was the sun. He was ready to die again. [He will recall that moment for the rest of his life, he thinks.] I watched him flee the sun once, watched his battle frenzy fade away into nothing more than fear.
In that moment, he was not that man. In the time I have known him since, he has never been that man. He told me that as Tanjiro struck him down, he came to both remember and regret everything. And I have seen plenty of evidence to support that.
[There is more, of course, but he doubts Shinobu is ready for a conversation on past lives, or the influence they'd had on the people they'd become. Even this, he feels, is too much for her. But he knows her, and she would not be able to rest with a halfhearted explanation.]
I am aware that it does not make up for what he has done. He will be the first to tell you that. But as far as I am concerned, I have forgiven him for the role he had in my own death, as is my right. We, as slayers, are executioners, and he has been executed for that act. Anything beyond that, for me, would be torture.
[He does not know the nerve his words might strike. It is the furthest thing from his mind. This is simply his outlook.]
no subject
it's not enough! he remembered? he feels remorse? what will that do for the people he's already slain!? even if kyojuro forgives him, will they? will she?
there's a sharp inhale. and then, she grits out- )
Perhaps you can forgive him. As you said, it is your right. But as one of the ones left behind, I refuse.
Atonement does not come with gentle hands, Rengoku.
( it never has. it never will. and she will not be gentle. )
no subject
Still, it isn't with the affection he feels for Akaza that he speaks, but for something else.]
I will ask you to not bring him unnecessary harm. He will not regenerate like he would back home. Considering what we are up against, we need his strength and capability. More to the point, I do not believe in making anything suffer endlessly. I have witnessed first hand what demons can do, when fueled by that level of agony.
[It is a good thing that he reaches the clinic as he does. Perhaps it will spare them both from an argument. He knows his words will be received as defense for a demon, rather than anything else. And for the sake of his father's honor, he almost hopes that will be the case.
Let her look down upon him, rather than the man that raised him.]
no subject
( it is brutal. it is excruciating. but so has every death at any demon's hand, and until they truly feel and understand what they have inflicted upon others, they cannot atone. this is something she believes to her core, even if she thinks sympathy for a demon is preposterous, even if she's only giving the idea of friendship with demons a chance for her sister's sake-
it is brutal. but in her eyes, it is fair.
... ah, has he simply thought of her as a monster, then?
the clinic is a relief. or, it would be if the tension in her body didn't force a horrid wet cough of blood into her hands- )
D-damn it--
no subject
And yes, he knows himself to be in that number too.
But he cannot focus on that right now. He hears that cough and doubles his pace. Though he knows everyone here to be capable, it will be by his hands that she is carried to a bed. He kneels down to deposit her properly, then swiftly turns to offer a hand to help her lay down.
He doesn't know if she will accept it. Maybe he does not deserve it. But despite this difference, he does still care.
Gods, he never thought he'd see her again. And now for her to be like this, angry and wounded, still dancing dangerously close to death. His hands shake as he reaches for something, anything to try and clear the blood away.
He shouldn't linger. The healers need room to work. But the idea of leaving things like this, hovering in a place of frustration and grief — that terrifies him. Especially if this moment is only fleeting, if she might just as easily disappear before the dawn.]
Please. Know that I do not ask what I do out of defiance of your own wishes, your own views.
no subject
how foolish of her.
the haze of everything blurs together. the familiar scent of medicines and antiseptics burns, but it soothes a part of her on some level; it feels like home. the bed he finds calls to her like a siren song.
she stares at the extended hand and it feels like a slap in the face, almost. and yet... all she's wanted on the hardest days was to hold that hand. and now... ... it may be the final positive contact they have, if he sides with his own killer so blatantly. after great hesitation, she accepts the help. )
... You ask too much of me.
( is all she can say- she can't even look at him. )
no subject
Silently, he dabs at some of the stray blood around her mouth. It is a terrible sight, to see her brought so low. Knowing that he had made it worse settles like lead within his gut. He should have handled this better, that much is clear.
Still, he hears those words and hangs his head. He does not deny it. That would only add to their troubles.]
You are right. I have. [Trying to change the subject would seem like trying to avoid responsibility. But still, there must be some sort of salve to be offered.]
Much as I might hate to see you in this place, in this state... I have missed you. That should have been the first thing I said.
no subject
( her voice is soft and painfully quiet. eyes dull with exhaustion finally meet his own, and she can't help but think, how dare you! as he still frets and tends to her while the healers bustle to start her care.
he'll have to go soon. it might be for the best. she's so tired and her heart aches. fear and fury from the battle still echo in her bloodstream and she can't dare to think of the past when he's saying things like accepting his murderer.
there's a soft hitch in her breath. )
... Why couldn't it have been that?
( she immediately regrets asking, though- shinobu turns away and draws in onto herself. )
... I must be getting delirious, I'm sorry. Silly me. You'd think I'd be more practiced with this sort of thing.
Perhaps its time for visiting hours to close.
no subject
But they weren't just that. And that has always been his greatest struggle — divorcing duty and honor from more delicate matters. The fact that he had even fallen in with a demon to begin with, given that issue, said a great deal.
Even if that's the worst possible thing right now.
He does not argue, when Shinobu turns away from him. He does not flinch declares it time for him to leave. He can tell that he's in the way, and this, too, is duty. Though it had only just landed him in this situation, he falls back on this nonetheless.]
Perhaps so. [He takes a step back, then looks to the healers at her side. He trusts them both implicitly, and so he will leave them to this. He has... other matters to deal with as well, doesn't he?
He takes a step back, then quickly turns and leaves the clinic. If he risks a glance back, he know he will hesitate. He has been given orders, though, and should not deviate.]